Posted by
Magdalene on Saturday, December 30, 2006 6:34:02 PM
There are all kinds of prisons, physical and mental - or emotional I suppose - and I have to admit that being confined by this immobilization sling and subject to the vagaries of other people's schedules to actually get out of the house - drive to the store, or go out to eat, or any of those little tasks that define the day of a person with my level of independence - OK! I confess that I am feeling the strain! And I am surrounded, as well, by the myriad of half-finished tasks that would require a second good arm to finish. In short I things are getting messy around here. Writing, even with the tablet, is slow, and I find myself focusing more on the result than the process, more on appearance than on content. I suppose that's because I've spent so many years on the typesetting and proofreading side of the fence.
So why all the kvetching? It's back to the faith issue. Do I believe that God has all my moments in his book, as the psalmist says? My friends think they are doing the good, noble, Christian thing when they say, "Well, we'll just claim healing for that Shoulder! We'll just speak pain-free to that shoulder!"
Right now someone out there is saying, "You think you've got it bad? You should be in my shoes!" Well, yes. That's the point. Our tribulations not only come to strengthen us, they come to teach us compassion on others. How can I know what it's like to walk in your shoes if I've never done it at one level or another?
And yet, now, after 15 months of chronic pain and 2 surgeries on the same shoulder, after a year of pain medication and trying to explain what it's like, more often than not, my answer to "How are you?" is, "Oh, just fine, thanks." At some point this whole journey becomes "just you and me, Lord, just you and me." I no longer expect anyone to comprehend, to offer assistance, to care for me. It's just me and Him now.
Thanks for listening. This is more of a ramble than a blog, today.